Things have calmed down here a bit. There’s still a fair amount of tension–anger simmering under the surface, but we’ve headed off any major explosions.
I think part of the problem is that J. feels like the rules are always changing and he can’t figure out what’s expected of him. He’s not precisely wrong. When new stuff comes up, we tend to adapt the house rules to deal with the previously unanticipated crisis. It just never occurred to us that, say, we’d need to specify that it’s not OK to make death threats against other people. We have, however, been saying all along that we need to speak respectfully to other people. Now we just have to help J. see that the latter precludes the former (as well as cursing, yelling, calling people animals . . .)
This week, B. and K. have both gotten out a couple of times to be with friends. (I’ve been told I’m not allowed to call them play dates anymore. We’re too big for that now, apparently. Not too big for having “stuffties” or using baby talk more ridiculous than they ever used as actual babies, but too big for play dates.)
K. and one of her friends tried out for the school talent show. Now they’re having to wait to see if they made it. K. says they have to wait until next Friday. I’m not sure what will take so long for the music teacher to decide who’s in and who’s out, but I know the wait is making K. very anxious.
K., J. and Craig are going tubing with the church today. I hope they have a good time. B. and I will probably have a good time on our own as well.
Oh my goodness, I can totally relate to the changing rules issues! Never thought I’d have to deal with a 3yr old threatening to cut each of our throats to watch us bleed (really scared our bio!). Amazingly, about 1 month ago he started showing signs of attaching to me! So now he’s been a Lot less violent and he’s only violent with me instead of the other kids in the house. All this to stay I think of you guys often and I’m standing with you…well, more like kneeling with you as we pray for perseverance and the changing hearts of our kiddos. Your family’s perseverance thus far encourages my heart greatly. Hugs to each of you!